Relationship Therapy
Are You Having Trouble With Your Relationships?
Do you struggle with dating and making connections with others, or feel like you can’t seem to make your relationships work?
Have you experienced the same types of issues with your relationships over and over again?
Perhaps you have difficulties with your friends, family, or work colleagues and wonder why you seem to struggle so much with relationships in general.
Therapy can help you unravel what causes the same patterns to emerge in your relationships so that you can find and maintain meaningful and fulfilling connections.
Signs That Relationship Issues In Your Life Are Causing Distress
If you are looking for someone to share your life with, you probably feel isolated or alone without having a partner. Or maybe you are currently seeing someone but could feel loneliness in that scenario as well if one or both of you are emotionally unavailable.
Feeling low about yourself and your relationship struggles could lead to depression, so you might experience symptoms like difficulty motivating yourself day to day or trouble even getting out of bed. Relationship issues can take up your headspace, so you might have trouble with concentrating on completing tasks at work or home.
You could be always on edge with others or your partner, perhaps fearing that they will stop caring about you. Negative thought patterns about yourself can also keep you seeking the same kind of people who treat you poorly.
Relationship therapy at my practice can provide a safe environment to share your story, feel supported, and receive objective guidance for how you relate to others as well as yourself in your life.
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Dating And Maintaining Relationships Is Not Always Easy
Anxiety is normal to experience while dating, as putting ourselves out there takes courage and faith that things will go well, with the understanding that it might not. This happens to everyone though. It's when we equate our self-worth with our ability to find a partner that we need to take a hard look at our beliefs about ourselves.
Some people have experienced self-esteem and self-worth issues for a long time. Maybe they started in childhood with negative messages from their caregivers. Our families of origin can become a source for how we model our adult relationships. What we see at home might cause us to think non-functional relationships are functional and what is abnormal is normal. Breaking free from that thinking to find our own positive path in relationships can be difficult without a healthy support system or counseling.
Having Our Trust Betrayed Can Leave Scars That Are Hard To Move On From
Trust issues can persist despite not having reason to be guarded or apprehensive with new dating partners or friends. Fear of abandonment can hold us back from forming connections in the first place.
Conversely, we might not let the natural flow of a relationship develop, jumping into a committed mindset before we even know the person well enough. This is mostly a defense mechanism to hold onto the feeling of being loved and accepted, or trying to please a new partner to keep them around. Conversely, we can have poorly formed boundaries or standards for ourselves, tolerating "situationships" when we actually want a committed relationship.
As your therapist, I can provide a non-biased perspective on your relationship issues. I can help you make the connection between how your past affects the present, helping you untangle previous toxic relationships or dysfunctional models for relationships in your childhood.
Therapy Can Help You Build The Life And Relationships You Want
In relationship therapy, you’ll learn how common and normal anxiety and stress are over relationships. You might have been dealt some uniquely challenging cards over the years, and feel like your possibilities for relationships will never improve, but I’m here to show you how you can build the life and the relationships you want, step by step.
If you have come to individual therapy to discuss your dating life, a current relationship, a friendship, or issues with your family, we will work together to determine what your goals are and how I can help you achieve them.
We’ll Identify Negative Thought Patterns That Hold You Back
Maybe it's the thought that you aren’t good enough for a certain level of relationship or that you don’t deserve happiness. These thoughts don’t allow the space within your mind for seeing reality as it is, for seeing yourself as the person you truly are, or for connecting with others on a deep level.
As your counselor, I can help you understand those negative thoughts you might not even be aware of so you can grow as a person as well as develop and maintain healthy relationships. I utilize both Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which works to challenge negative thought partners, as well as Psychodynamic Therapy, which looks into your past and how your experiences have informed your current mindset.
Additionally, mindfulness therapy incorporates body-based methods for grounding and calming your nervous system. This allows you to have thoughts that may be negative but to think of them objectively and not let your emotions control your decision-making. Mindfulness activities include meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, and other forms of self-care.
You’ll Have The Chance To Reflect On The Effects Of Past Relationships
Worrying that you keep attracting the wrong type of partner is a common challenge that many people face in their dating lives. Overcoming this requires a combination of self-awareness, intentional action, and sometimes a shift in mindset.
You might discover that you draw people into your lives that are not healthy for you to have a relationship with. Or, you might discover that some of the people you have dated have been kind-hearted and good for you on some level.
Together, we’ll clarify your needs and values and give you the tools to improve your self-esteem and self-worth. This will help you maintain connections with people who share your values and respect you—showing you how to enhance your life through your relationship together.
Therapy at my practice can validate and normalize your experience in your relationships so you do not feel so alone with what you’re going through. I’m here to help you find joy and optimism in who you are, the life you want to live, the relationships you share, and the connections that are possible.
You Might Still Have Concerns About Relationship Therapy…
I’m worried that others will judge me for seeing a therapist.
Therapy is a form of self-care, much like going to a gym or eating well, so you could view therapy as a way to maintain your health. Many people, both young adults who are single and older adults with a lot of history, go to therapy for various reasons, including dating and relationship issues. It is a common practice and not something to feel shameful for. Additionally, therapy is confidential unless you want to share it with others.
I am worried that nothing will change.
Your relationship patterns and negative thoughts about yourself might have gone on for a long time. Being worried that nothing will change is just part of that negative mindset. The longer you live with this negativity, the more you convince yourself this is how your life is going to be.
Therapy can provide a new perspective that can help challenge those negative thoughts and show you how you are no different from others who seek dating partners, friendships, and other connections. Change is possible, and therapy is a great way to begin that process.
I don’t have the money or the time to attend therapy.
Therapy is an investment in your mental well-being and quality of life. If what you’ve been doing so far hasn’t brought you relief, perspective, or hope about your relationships, therapy can be that catalyst for change. It can also help you maintain those changes over time.
Like any investment, our time is needed to create the space for change, both in our mindset and in the patterns of non-action that have kept us making the same choices. Similarly, therapy is a monetary investment but can be seen as another form of self-care like eating well, or going to the doctor. You are worth this investment in your happiness and your future.
Relationship Therapy Can Be The Change-Maker In Your Life
As your therapist, I can provide the perspective and guidance you need to learn more about yourself and your relationships and to form healthy connections with others. Call 626-684-4906 or use my contact page to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation to begin the therapy process.